I’m standing up for …

… Hot Cross Buns.  I feel that something has to be said.  Read on …

I’m not running with my planned post for today.  It’s not usual for me to write the kind of post I am setting out here today, either.  But there are times when even I feel that I must speak.  No matter how few or how many people are listening, I just have to say something.

I was in an outlet of that Giant European Supermarket (GES) the other day and picked up one of their leaflets detailing what special treats and offers were coming up in the next week.  I flicked through the leaflet to find they were running with the entreaty ‘Banish Basic Buns’.  Great marketing slogan, I thought.  Alliteration will always capture the eye and the mind, I said to myself.  But then I looked at the picture immediately above the slogan.  The photo showed a toasted Hot Cross Bun (HCB) slathered with butter.  The full horror of the meaning of that slogan suddenly became clear. Alongside the traditional Hot Cross Bun were others with white chocolate and red berries, then one with orange segments and dark chocolate.  There were more, but I just could not look any further.  Although not explicitly stated, the inference was absolutely and horrifically clear.

So, Mr GES, there are a few things that I would like to point out.  Firstly, according to my dictionary – the OED (that’s the Oxford English Dictionary, Mr GES, just in case you are unaware), the word basic means ‘forming an essential foundation or starting point’.  A basic item is something that is ‘fundamental.’  As the HCB is a fruited and spiced piece of dough, I’m afraid I have to disagree with your marketeer who designated it as ‘basic.’  Removing the spices and fruit without replacing them with something else would return the dough to its basic state.  So, as you seek to ‘Banish Basic Buns,’ I am obliged to ask if you have removed every single plain dough bread cake in your stores yet?  After all, to achieve your marketeer’s ultimate goal, that is what you would need to do, otherwise accusations of hypocrisy could be levelled.

Secondly, what is so wrong with the HCB that you feel it needs to have other ingredients added or spread on it?  Are you purchasing your HCBs from the right supplier, Mr GES?  If not, then perhaps your buyer needs encouragement to shop around or possibly even needs to be replaced with someone who fully understands the combination of spice and fruit that makes a HCB the fabulous treat that it really is.

Lastly, Mr GES, are you aware of the historical significance of this spicey little British bun? Spiced and fruited breads/cakes have been around for millennia in various guises worldwide. The earliest mentions of what we now call a HCB here in the UK date from the Middle Ages. Later, in the 16th century, the HCB and other spiced breads were restricted for sale by decree. Records from the 18th century relate to these tasty little sweetmeats, along with a rhyme that appeared in a London almanac as early as the 1730s.

So, Mr GES, in attempting to ‘banish’ the humble HCB in its traditional form, you are trying to succeed where centuries of others have failed.  In attempting to banish the HCB, you are making an assault on a little piece of British history and tradition.  How would you feel if I came to your country of origin and started campaigning for the eradication of the traditional sweetmeats that your fellow citizens have enjoyed for centuries? Would you just let that happen?

Just to be clear, Mr GES, I want to say that I am standing firmly and resolutely for the HCB in its traditional and utterly non-basic form.  I genuinely hope that other shoppers recognise that in chipping away at our HCBs, you are taking an axe to a part of our culinary history.

... just in case you were wondering, Mr Giant European Supermarket, no, I did not get the buns in the picture above from your outlet!

Addendum...

I am appalled to discover today that there is such a thing as a 'Hot Tick Bun' that has been developed by a frozen food store that has been in existence here in the UK since 1970.  Apparently, following a survey, a fifth (that's 20%) of their customers said they found the intersecting flour and water lines on Hot Cross buns offensive.  Really?!  So Mr Frozen Foods from the Seventies, what about the remaining 80% of your customers surveyed?  The inference is that they were happy with said intersecting lines, or at the very least had no view one way or the other.  Perhaps, even more radically, they just liked the buns as they are.

So, just to reiterate, a Hot Tick Bun is not a Hot Cross Bun.  Equally, a white chocolate and berries or orange and dark chocolate bun are not traditional Hot Cross Buns.  They, along with their savoury counterparts - and yes I know, how is it possible to have a Hot Cross Bun made with Chorizo and cheese? - are Not Cross Buns, so please call them something else and stop messing with our traditional and absolutely gorgeously spiced and fruited bun that has a culinary history that is more than 600 years old.