Just because it's 'TwixMas'...

here are some lines to amuse…

The Wife's Eptaph

To follow you I'm not content.

How do I know which way you went.

                                               Anon

Inscribed on a Pint-Pot

There are several reasons for drinking,

And one has just entered my head;

If a man cannot drink when he's living

How the Hell can he drink when he's dead?

                                               Anon

On Taking a Wife

'Come, come,' said Tom's father, 'at your time of life,

There's no longer excuse for thus playing the rake.

It's time you should think, boy, of taking a wife.'

'Why so it is, father. Whose wife shall I take?'

                              Thomas Moore

And finally, some Limericks

A simple youg fellow named Hyde

In a funeral procession was spied.

When asked, 'Who is dead?'

He tittered and said,

'I don't know.  I just came for the ride.'

                                              Anon

There once was a person from Lyme

Who married three wives at a time.

When asked, 'Why a third?'

He Replied, 'One's absurb,

And bigamy, Sir, is a crime.'

                                             Anon