I try. I try my best
but my brother James will just not get on board with Christmas. He thinks it’s
an ‘over-commercialised
excuse to eat and drink in excess.’ His exact words, which are usually uttered round about the end of
November. This year I thought I’d take a different approach.
My Christams tree |
‘Let’s do Christmas the French way,’ I said. ‘Even better,’ I said, ‘would be to
go to France for Christmas,’ I
said.
It was a Saturday morning and he was at my house, as usual,
reading his paper. I thought I’d picked
an appropriate moment, but then, from behind the newsprint came a groan.
‘Over-commercialised excuse to eat and drink in excess in
French,’ he said. But I was prepared
for this.
‘Hmm no it’s not, actually.
We could do Le Révellion
on Christmas Eve. That would be
different.’
He put the paper down. ‘Revvie what?’
‘Le Révellion,’
I corrected. ‘It’s a special meal that
is traditionally served on Christmas Eve and includes things like foi gras, or
escargot or-‘
‘Snails! I’m not
eating those slimy little things!'
‘Well I could replace them with smoked salmon I suppose,’ I
said trying to be helpful. ‘But the
main course would be goose or a capon stuffed with chestnuts-‘
‘Goose!’ The paper
was discarded to the floor.
‘Goose! But I don’t like goose.’
I ploughed on regardless; I was so determined to have a
different Christmas. ‘Then we could do
dessert like they do in Provence,’ I said.
‘Lei tretze dessèrts. That’s Occitan for thirteen desserts.’
‘What’s wrong with Christmas pudding and rum sauce?’ At this point his face was completely
drained of all colour.
‘But you like your puddings,’ I said, ‘and when we’re in
France you go into every single pâtisserie
and buy a cake or pastry. I just thought that Christmas French-style might be something we could both enjoy that would be different.’
He picked up his paper and flexed it back into shape. ‘I don’t like eating late and what’s wrong
with your Henry the second stuffing and turkey?’
So, here I am, menu decided. Smoked salmon, turkey and all the usual trimmings followed by
Christmas pudding and rum sauce. That’s
the big day sorted. However, what James
still doesn’t know is that he left his wallet here by mistake on Saturday. So I popped down the shops and on Christmas
Eve I will be having my own celebration of Le Révellion with half a lobster, a few oysters, some foi gras and a
bûche de noël to follow. His Christmas present to me this year!
I think another glass of merlot is required and
then I just need Mr Claus to arrive – that’s the tall dark handsome one, not
the old guy in the red suit – and some snow!
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